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[07 Jun 2006|06:14pm] |
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new lj----->knownasalisha
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[02 Jun 2006|12:53am] |
Everything fucking sucks right now.
To start with, my dad. He's cheating on my mom. Even though she doesn't care, he has the audacity to lie about it. I personally don't care either. However, I do happen to care about the fact that every time he does it he turns into the biggest asshole on the planet.
He actually attempted to shut me up when I was yelling at him with the whole "I'm the parent" speech.
Um, no. No you aren't. You never have been a dad, and you never will be a dad. Why do you think that Nikki and Jacob haven't attempted to contact you? Idiot.
Secondly, my boss is the biggest assfuck on the planet. She asks me personal questions about my sucky life, and tells me that everything I tell her will be in confidence.
Fine. No problem. I'm not ashamed of my life, so why should I try to hide anything?
So I answer her questions. And what does she do? She goes home and tells her granddaughter all about my sucky fucking life and says "See how good you have it?"
Hello lady! I'm an employee not a fucking show and tell project. Who gave you the right to tell your daughter, grandchildren, and the rest of the world that I once had to live in a tent in the back of La Salette Shrine because I was homeless for over a year? Who the fuck gave you the right to tell every living creature on the planet that I had to drop out of school to help support my poor fucking family so it wouldn't happen a second time? What the fuck gives you that privilege?
And speaking of my dropping out, I'd like to now award my #1 Piece of Shit on the Planet prize.
Today, someone who I'd like to think of as my friend (Nathan) came into the store today with his two friends Little Eric, and some skin head asshole.
Nathan started asking me why I haven't been in school, and not wanting to explain my situation to him, I simply said "I got a diploma early, but I didn't graduate." And that's when his friend decided to pipe in with "She dropped out of school. You dropped out of school, huh?"
What was I supposed to do, lie?
So I sighed, "Yeah."
To which the skin head dicknipple replied "Loser."
I have never in my entire life cried over any name or insult anyone has called me ever before. Not until he called me a loser for dropping out of school.
I waited until they left the store, called Michelle to the front of the store, told her I needed a break from register, went in the back room, and bawled my eyes out for the last half hour of the day. I would have cried more, but the store closed and I had to count the money in my drawer. So I helped close the store, and went home and bawled some more.
It was the worst feeling I've ever had in my entire life. It kind of made me feel like I'm going to end up like my dad. Leeching off of the government and making money in dishonest ways.
But who the hell is he to judge? I fucking know that asshole, you wanna know what he does on his free time? He goes to the skatepark, and smokes pot. Noble cause, asshole. At least I had a good fucking reason for screwing up the plans for the rest of my life.
And what the fuck does he plan to do after highschool? Assuming he graduates and they don't kick him out because he's stayed back so many fucking times. If he does graduate it probably won't be until he turns about 21. And what the fuck will he do then? Probably get a job at McDonald's. Then he'll work there for the rest of his ife, eventually get promoted to manager, and think he's hot shit. Even though in reality, he'll probably be nothing more than a beer bellied, middle aged, balding momma's boy who lives in his mother's basement and hasn't been laid since highschool, if at all.
Me on the other hand? I got my fucking GED as soon as I could after I dropped out, because I don't want to end up like that. I didn't want to leave highschool in the first place, but I did what I had to to help my family survive. And you know what? 98% of colleges accept a GED in lieu of a highschool diploma.
I'm going to college, asshole. I'm going to be a journalist. A writer, you know? Or do you not have that kind of understanding of the English language, you ignorant tool?
Look me up in fucking ten years and we'll see who the loser is then. When I'm the editor of some big time newspaper or magazine, and you're flipping my fucking lunch on my way to an interview, it'll be my turn to call you a loser.
All three of you pieces of grodious shit can go fuck yourselves, or each other for all I care. Just promise you won't breed, because we don't need anymore garbage like you polluting the earth.
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[24 May 2006|06:14pm] |
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I'm making a new LJ account. One my parents don't know so they can't read it. You'll all find out whatit is sooner or later.
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[22 May 2006|09:37pm] |
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There are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots.
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[08 May 2006|07:29pm] |
I fucking hate Mondays.
Customer:"What happened to that racecar bed?"
Me: "It was sold. Sorry."
Customer: "Are you kidding me?"
Me: "No, sir, I'm not."
Customer: "Yeah? Well, we were told that it was going to be held onto for us.
Me: "Really? By who?"
Customer: "By the other girl. She has long dark hair."
Me: "The Spanish girl?
Customer: "Yes."
Me: "I apologize for the mistake, sir, I honestly was not informed that there was a hold on the bed when I sold it. Not to mention the fact that there was no hold ticket filled out and placed with the bed."
Customer: "Yeah, well whoever you sold the bed to had better still be in the parking lot, because you're giving them their money back."
We don't do returns, stupid. Or don't you read? That would explain why you couldn't fill out a hold ticket, you illiterate asshole.
Me: "No sir, she's been and left by now. Would you like to speak to the manager?"
Customer: "Yeah, call the manager."
Me: [Into intercom]"Ann, please come to the front."
Ann: "What's the problem?"
Customer: "I'll tell you what the matter is. This girl sold the bed we had a hold on."
I already explained the hold ticket issue with you, idiot. Are you dumb and deaf?
Ann: "Is this true?"
Me: "I sold the bed, but there wasn't a hold on it. If there was, I wouldn't have sold it."
Customer: "Yes, there was. The other girl-"
Ann: "What other girl?"
Customer: "The girl with the long dark hair."
Ann: "Miriam, come here please. Did you put a hold on a bed for these people?"
Miriam: "Yes, I write out, put up front."
Ann: "No, you wrote out a furniture ticket and put it up front. Did you write out a hold ticket?"
Customer: "See? I told you there was a hold."
Miriam: "No, did no write out hold."
Ann: "You see, it was Miriam's mistake, not Alisha's. There was no way for her to know that someone else wanted the bed beacuse there was not a hold ticket on it."
Yeah, what bitch?
Me: "I apologize for the mishap, sir, but I didn't know. I would have told the woman who bought it 'No Sale' if I knew you already had a hold on it."
Customer: "It's okay," glares at Miriam "it's not your fault."</blue>
That's it, glare at the girl you were well aware couldn't speak English that well, but decided to talk to anyways. Blame someone else for your own laziness and stupidity.
Me: [brightly]"Have a good day, sir!"
Customer: [glaring]"Yeah, you too." [underbreath] "I'm never coming here again."
Yeah, because God knows that it's appropriate to insult people over a $25 dollar piece of blue plastic.
Me: "Don't worry about it, Miriam, we're not really losing much."
Miriam: "Oh, okay."
People are fucking assholes.
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[07 May 2006|06:19pm] |
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mood |
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Okay. so there was this guy talking to Marissa and she didn't know who he was, so I IMed him just to screw with him.
Me: OMG! I haven't talked to you in like FOREVER!
Him: who is this?
Me: it's allie. jon, remember me from the party?
Him: i dont go to partys
Me: yeah, well anyone who says they remember that party wasn't really there lol!
Him: i guess
Me: so how are you?
Him: good, you
Me: awesome!
Him: thats good.
Me: yeah
Him: asl?
Me: you really don't remember. eh. 18/f/ wherever i hitchhike to next. currently i'm in a truckstop in kentucky
Him: oh
Him: ok
Him: i remember your sexy ass!
Him: we weren't at a party though
Me: oh well, it was a long time ago
[insert sexually explicit (ie him saying things like "i'm hard") part of conversation here]
Me: Yeah, well, the driver i'm with is leaving now, so i gotta go before i miss my ride to illinois
I can't believe I actually got that idiot to pretend her remembers me.
Holy fucking goooood!
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[07 May 2006|12:23pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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Stone Temple Pilots. |
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We the Unwilling, led by the Unknowing, have done the Impossible, for the Ungrateful. We have done so much, for so long, with so little, that we are now qualified to do Anything with Nothing.
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[05 May 2006|08:50am] |
Sometimes, I just want to curl up in a ball, go to sleep, and not wake up.
Things have been really bad for me lately.
I can't remember the last time I was seriously depressed.
I'm tired of being stepped on.
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[04 May 2006|07:38pm] |
I feel like the world is having a jolly good time shitting on me.
And then using my favorite shirt as toilet paper.
I've been doing nothing but getting into arguments with people lately. Namely, my family members.
The first argument was with my mother. I told her how I was sick of playing mommy. It was just a huge argument about how I was the mom in the house and I shouldn't have to be.
The next one was with my little brother. Mainly, him yelling at me about how he wishes I could switch places with him so I could see how hard it really was for him.
The only reason it's hard for him is because he's trying too hard to be a badass so he doesn't follow the freakin' rules. If he'd just follow the rules, he'd of been home by now.
The third argument was with my mother about the first.
She doesn't really care how I feel. She humors me to find out how I feel so she can throw it in my face later to try to make me feel guilty about it. Like I'm a bad daughetr, as opposed to her just being a bad mother.
And I'm not even allowed to cry about anything. If I do, I get yelled at. Apparently, them making me feel like a worthless waste of space makes me a puss.
AND THEN Rj decides to be a dickabout Kaitlyn, because I got pissed that she just strolled in at 10:30 last night when she's not even supposed to be here past ten.
So he told her it was because I hate her, and now she's giving me fake compliments in some lame attmpt to be nice to me.
"Alisha, have you lost weight?"
SHUT. UP. YOU. FAKE. SKANK.
I hate my life.
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| Ugh. |
[03 May 2006|08:09am] |
I just puked. So, I don't want to go to work, but I have to anyways.
Which means I should go flat iron my hair, because right now I look like James Brown's illigitmate white graddaughter.
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| I wrote a poem! |
[02 May 2006|08:13am] |
Okay, I haven't written a poem in over a year.
And I wrote this in the middle of the night, in less than 5 minutes.
It has a strange ryme shceme, but I think that makes it flow better.
I think considering the circumstances, it came out pretty good.
To Be Quite Honest
I love you but...
I find your miserable actions sad.
Don't you ever stop to think that
Things may not really be that bad?
You can blame others.
The fact of the matter is
You put yourself up on that ledge.
When will you snap out of this?
You let your life end the same day as your mothers.
You cut out a little more of yourself everyday
With the razors edge.
Please, put the blade away.
We're still here, and we still love you.
There's no reason to end your life this day.
This really has to end.
The truth about it all
Is that I miss my old friend.
The true blue
Old you.
There's not much more to say
Except...
Can you come back out to play?
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| Sweet. Jesus. |
[30 Apr 2006|01:30pm] |
Kind of funny that that is my title since this post is about religion. Lisa had hers, now it's my turn.
I agree with what Lisa said, but now I think it's time to share things from a non-Catholic/Christian point of view.
I am an Eclectic Pagan.
Something that has always bothered me is the fact that people tend to think that being Pagan means that you are a Heathen.
Um, no. Not even close.
For those of you who don't know what a Heathen is, it is someone who doesn't profess a religion.
That would be the wrong definition of Paganism.
"Heathen" is a closer definition for an agnostic or an athiest.
A better definition of Paganism would be to say that a Pagan is a person that is not Christian, Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, or Satanic, for that matter. Please feel free to let me know if I missed any monotheisitic religions.
And for an in depth definition of an Eclectic Pagan, here it is. Eclectic Paginism is a religion, but not an organized religion, because it takes beliefs from several different paths. Hence Eclectic.
Most of my beliefs are Wiccan, but I also take beliefs from Hinduism and Buddhism as well. And quite personally, even if I did believe only one path, I wouldn't join a coven. Too much politics.
Now that I'm done defining things to make people undersand better, let's move on, shall we?
I do not agree with a single thing that Shirley woman was talking about. Even if I was Christian, I doubt I would agree with her.
Highly doubt.
Lisa didn't, so I'm going to use her as my example so I can say "See? Told you."
What I shouls say is that I agree with Lisa's overall message. I'm going to nitpick for my own reasons, Li, so bear with me.
Lisa said that you can't hate this woman or people like her because of the way they were raised. Which makes perfect sense. But it would make better sense to say that you shouldn't hate her.
Because I do believe I am close to hating this woman, and people like her. I have a general dislike for them to begin with.Telling pepole that they are going to Hell for being gay is just fule for the fire.
I know what it feels like to be told that I'm going to Hell. Not because of my sexuality, but because of my religion. It doesn't make you feel too good.
For me to be told that I am going to Hell because I am Pagan is just a stupid, ignorant thing to say. To me it is anyways. Ignorant because people tend to assume that Paganism=Satanism, when it does NOT. It is a blatantly stupid thing to say because all known forms of Paganism, I.E., polytheism have been around for centuries of centuries (thousands of years) longer than any form of Christianity or monotheism.
Another thing that Lisa said is that "It offends me that people can sit there bashing religions of all kinds and it's seen as them being 'liberal and open minded'. But yet if someone sits their defending their religion, they're being seen as crazy or narrow minded."
I'm using this to say that yes, you have a point. People defending their religion should not be viewed as crazy or narrow minded, but this Shirley woman IS crazy and narrow minded. She wasn't defending anything. In order to defend something, it has to be attacked first. This woman and her band of lunatics came out of nowhere.
Anyways, Li, I had to nitpick those two things, sorry. I had to. I wasn't nitpicking you,because you made exellent points, I just had to use the things you said to get my points across.
The thingI want to make clearest is hard for me to explain. So, I'm just going to use an old Pagan saying to try and explain myself.
All paths up the mountain lead to the same point
Not that hard to figure out.
Be the religion you are. Don't try to force anyone else to believe what you believe. If we are all true to our religions, we'll all end up in the same place.
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[30 Apr 2006|12:25pm] |
Truth hurts, doesn't it guys?
I'm tired of playing mommy.
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[27 Apr 2006|06:10pm] |
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I feel ignored.
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[26 Apr 2006|06:02pm] |
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Me and Tash's mom were sniffing clothes today. She got fish and I got pickles.
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[26 Apr 2006|08:37am] |
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I'm dressed like a hobo!
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[25 Apr 2006|06:24pm] |
I ♥ my JOOOOOOOB!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I have a job.
...I smell like pasta. Which has nothing to do with my job, seeing as I work at a thrift store.
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[20 Apr 2006|07:41pm] |
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mood |
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silly |
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music |
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Marissa singing Sean Paul...UHOH! |
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uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh
Yeah.
Marissa made me look like a hooker last night. And then we went out on the street corner and tried to sell thems peepizzles some hot ass.
We be makin' da new red light district, yo.
I desperately need a hobby.
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[11 Apr 2006|12:49pm] |
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HJY |
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University of Maine doesn't mail out hard copies of their viewbook. You have to go on their website to get everything.
Is that not the single most stupid thing you've heard?
Okay, so maybe it isn't. But it makes me really mad because I was looking into going to that school, and they don't mail anything to you. I think you even have to aplly online. Which doesn't always work out out for everyone because Adobe Reader won't fucking download onto the fucking computer so you're basically screwed if you want to apply to that school.
That's okay though, I'm applying to other schools.
I just feel so hopeless lately with the whole college thing. I feel like I'm not going ANYWHERE with my life and that I'm going to end up just like my parents.
Getting inot college is a billion times harder when you have a GED and not a highschool dimploma.
It's not my fault I couldn't AFFORD to stay in school.
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[08 Apr 2006|12:36pm] |
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mood |
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steeplesteeplesteeple! |
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music |
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Kurt Cobain's almost inaudible mumbling. |
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Okay, so Grease was sad. The kids at school did a really good job, but I think I was expecting too much because I saw the movie.
I think the worst part was when they gave Sandy a makeover.
You know how at the end of the movie they tease Sandy's hair into this big poofy thing? Well, at the end of the play, the put this wig on the girl who was playing Sandy to recreate that effect, but she came out looking more like Dee Snider.
And then they started calling her "Big D" instead of Sandra D. So that just made it worse.
Overall, I guess it was good, but there were certain parts of the play that weren't supposed to be funny, buyt they made me laugh so hard that I was crying.
Then I got really sick all of the sudden because my monthy visitor decided to pay an early visit. So I had to go home right after the play instead of going to Nicole's house.
I felt really bad because Chris's cow of a gilrfriend beat her up yesterday, so I kinda wanted to be there in case she came back.
Her dad was so mad about it that he left work unlocked and went over to her house to yell at Chris and his floozy. By that time She and Chris had left and Mike, my mother and I were there.
I really hate that cow.
Anyways, when I got home I watched Walk The Line.
Netflix is really cool. Walk The Line just came out yesterday and we already got it in the mail.
It was a really good movie.
Did you know that Johnny Cash was peer pressured into doing speed by Elvis?
Elvis and some member of some band that they were touring with went up to Johnny Cash and were like "You want some? Come on, Elvis does it." So Johnny Cash was like, well hell, if Elvis does it...
And he did.
Then, when they were all speeded out, they blew up a tree. It was AWESOME!
It kinda made me want to blow up a tree.
And you know what? It was one of those true stories that actually had a happy ending.
How about that?
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